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National Coming Out Day is October 11th

Updated: Oct 11, 2023

National Coming Out Day occurs every October 11th of each year. This date is important because it is the anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. The first National Coming Out Day, organized by Jean O’Leary and Dr. Robert Eichberg with the National Coming Out Day organization, was observed on October 11, 1988.[1]

I identify as a cisgender gay male that is married to my husband Daniel. We live in Santa Monica, California with our two miniature schnauzers, Keelah and Sayuri.

My coming out story has two parts: The first was when I came out to my friends and the second was when I came out to my parents. When I came out to my first friend, it was the year right after I graduated college in 2003. I came out to my friend after we were coming home from a house party. It happened in my car and it was intentional. Her response was extremely supportive and it was a welcome first step to accepting my identity.

The second part of my story is about coming out to my parents. That took a little more time and despite trying my best to plan it out, it did not go as planned. I wasn't planning to use my medical school graduation to double as my coming out to my parents but that is what happened. My mom had a more hysterical response to my cisgender gay identity. It took a year or two before she really accepted that part of me.

I know that coming out is an intensely personal decision. I share my story not because I think everyone should come out today. Rather, I want to let those of you that are thinking of coming out know that it is ok to do it when you are ready.

If you want to learn more about me, Dr. Brian Lai, M.D. or need pain-related care from a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, request an appointment on my contact page and see how I can help you get back to doing the things you love.


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